day 4 update

going pretty well

im thinking ill only go 30mins cardio today because tomorrow morning i have to get up early and go out. and my energy is so minimal in the morning. i'll just make up for the -30min within the next few days.

i really dont want to cheat but if im so low, i might have a couple wheat bix with organic soy milk. and maybe some natural honey too? ooo i just dont want to break it!!! maybe ill just opt for lots and lots of fruit

i dont care if im bloated i just cant risk fainting because ill be with my dad.

i have to stick with it, cheating it just not an option! because before you know it ill be laying in bed all day chewin' on some grease or smothering my throat in chocolate.

so day 4: so far... 2/3 a punnet of strawberries, bout 1/2 cup of cauliflower. i'll have 1 or 2 kiwi fruits tonight also.

and 30mins cycle

woo almost day5, past half way through the week

♥♥love all round

day 3 update

fantastic, 30more mins cycle to do.

ive also started a thinspo journal, it keeps me occupied while i cant sleep
but its so damn cold i barely get anything done! i cant wait till spring!

food today : 4 strawberries, 1 carrot, 2 kiwi fruit
woah that sounds like a lot, below 300cals though

exercise: by end of today will be 1 hr cycle

i get so bored while cycling i either have to have music ripping off ear or watch a dvd on my laptop. i need paded bike pants too LOL im getting bruised from the seat ouccchie

half way thru week 1, feels good!



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by my friend's birthday on 5th september i muuust be much thinner. i am sooo fatty atm (ive hung a towl over the mirror in my room - i cant stand what i see), so i plan to look fabulous seeing as i havent seen them in a few months. damn emotional eating and laziness, i really let myself go auugh.

Current Mood: hopeful

ok so almost over day 2. woohoo

i still have to do my hour of cycle though, but that will be easy because i prob wont be able to sleep all night anyway so may aswell do something productive.

i've told myself that even if i binge it hasss to be raw fruit/veg/grains/nuts. and i binged today! but on the positive i resisted a small vegetarian pizza, this yummy roast pumpkin dish with spinache, chicken curry with veggies and rice. aand chicken and veggies stew with rice. some of them might not sound so nice but they are soo good. so im pretty proud of myself

so my mini binge today consisted of... 4 kiwi fruits, handfull of dried nuts and half a punnet of strawberries. i hope the cycling will burn most of it off.. ive been told it will *fingers crossed*.

so im gona finish watching tv then head to my bedroom and burn them off. and drink up lots of waterrrr
def gona be achieving 7lbs this week... i MUST not be a failure

i can do this!! :(:(
yes i can and i will

so today is day 2 of my Raw Food Diet

everything is going great!

well not everything. augh. i fucking hate the way i feel. i

fucking

hate it! why does god let us suffer from such a selfdistructing disease as depression???????? one min ur up, then for the next fucking month ur down

u push everyone away! u dont answer their phone calls! u dont reply their text messages! u even fucking turn off ur phone for months on end pretending u "lost" ur sim card.. not to mention u barely leave ur home, my skin hasnt seen direct sunlight for WEEKS. and when i say weeks i mean weeks.

i wish i was still in highschool. im 18, the age which is supposed to be the best time of ur life. u can drink alc, go clubbingg.. do anything u want! yet i lock myself away from the outside world and my fucking family doesnt even realise theres something wrong with me. WTF? get a clue already.

i cant talk to anyone, because im scared what they'll think ("oh shes just a pathetic little overreacting attention seeker" - they might as well spit in my face )

atm i have no future. not unless i somehow fix myself. but i cant go to a therapist or a doctor! i just cant!

im too scared there saying im being ridiculous wen in my heart i know im wilting. wilting away, my spirit is pretty much gone. everyone says i look so ... drained? my personality has slowly deminishing away and i sit here today a numb girl, who cant feel happiness, exitement or pleasure. only pain.

ok so i just realised my journal is rather

BOORING

as i rarely update it.......

i cant think of much to say however..?

mm well anyway ive started a new diet for today, im roadtesting the raw food diet for 4-5 weeks to see the results. i hear they will be amazing so fingers crossed. i will absolutely love to be 25-30lbs in this amount of time. i think i might be able to considering it is a detox diet and it will shift a lot of the decaying matter inside me. hopefully anyway.

i will be combining it with 1 hours exercise each day. i dont usually exercise so this should speed it up alot.

8 glasses of water
1 hour of cardio
and only fruits and veg from here on in!

the treats will be mental

---
lovelove

ok so sisters 21st next week end

its a suprise. mum has reeally bitten off more than she can chew here!! she decided like last thursday she was gona do it! u cant just organsise a party for 150 guests within a week :O u need like a month.

i inivted like 20 of my friends just to bring the atmosphere haha i have the greatest friends they are crazy.

but now im all stressin cause all the tthing i have got to do for her.
im inchange of making deserts (trifle and everything :O:O:O im gona be hell tempted), decorations, snacks, drinks, invites, rsvps, gracious the list just goes on. im only 18!! wat do i know of throwing a party really. the place is HUGE and i mean that. its at mum and dad's property in the industrial area.


im trying to make them allow my friends to have their 18th ther in a few weeks time. i dont think they'll say yes but... because i dont wantt dad actually there lol could u imagine. augh bail on getting drunk and dancing skanky infront of my father. its not that i am plannign on dancing skanky or anything but it just always seems like a good idea at the time doesnt it lol. until u see videos of yourself the next morning.

so yeh i better get cracking, see who is coming and wat not. augh. i hope it turns out well ♥

Current Mood: mellow

wow so i just bought some diet shake powder yesterday (not sure which brand) and it really does fill u up lots. i had about 2/3 of a standard shake which is like... 150kcals around.

i was just a bout to have some ham, cottage cheese and tomato on a couple of buscuits and was reeeally feeding for it but now i dont need it at all.

today i have also had one rice biscuit with some cottage cheese. i think that was a bit less than 100kcals.

so, so far 250kcals.

i have 100kcals till my limit but i think i'll jus leave it there.

and do 30mins cycle tonight. and some push ups. and squats and lunges.

sounds good :)

tomrrow i might try the shake powder with water... see if its bareable.
and have some grilled chicken with green salad. sweet
and do lots of dancing, cycling, pushups, lunges and squats.


Tday 1 - :)
Wday 2 - :(
Tday 3 - :)
Fday 4 - :)
Sday 5 - :)
Sday 6 - :)
Mday 7 - :(
Tday 8 - :)
Wday 9 - :)
Tday 10 - :(
Fday 11 - :)
Sday 12 - :)
Sday 13 - :) so far


i think ill weigh myself after my next poopie lol. gotta make sure im getting the right weight.

Current Mood: full

goal for the next few weeks is 15.5 pounds. i can do it. <3 love

here come those D&G sunglasses!!

im also getting inked in a couple of weeks i have decided.

Current Mood: giddy

hi just wondering if anyone knew how many calories were in a tablet of berocca performance?